Tag Archives: Miami Heat

The NBA Conspiracy Minute: 6-15-14 Game 2

15 Jun

I knew that there was going to be another conspiracy right around the corner. This one isn’t a huge one, but it is worth pointing out because it adds a whole new layer of genius to the San Antonio Spurs and the basketball omnipresence of Greg Popovich. But before I dive in to the conspiracy, I just want to give a little backstory on my relationship with the Spurs. I never really liked them, even when uber-Christian David Robinson was being jammed down my throat by every Sunday school teacher who noticed that I liked basketball I wasn’t a fan. As a kid there was more than one moral lesson revolving around how Christians were better at basketball allowing them to defeat the vile worldliness of crass hooligans like Charles Barkley. All I knew was Barkley beat Godzilla and in my elementary mind there was no amount of Christian magazine features on David Robinson that could take that away from me. So, not a huge fan to begin with. The 1996 season when David Robinson and Sean Elliot were out the majority of the season, thus allowing them to win the Timothy Duncan lottery, my favorite team the Denver Nuggets only had 2 more wins than the Spurs. WE COULD’VE HAD THE GREATEST CENTER/FORWARD IN THE WORLD!! So, for the next decade I held a grudge against the Spurs, so much so that I actively booed Avery Johnson when the Nuggets picked him up. I rooted against them in every playoffs series they played in, which broke my heart because that meant I had to root for the Lakers some years. I grew up thinking they were boring and outright villainous when they regularly beat the Suns. In summation, I’ll say the Spurs had a long way to go to earn my respect. And this is an old story, the stories of people hating the Spurs and coming around to respect them were in vogue two or three years ago after they changed their style to be more seven-second-Suns instead of their former grind-it-out selves, and it happened for me then also. I appreciated them the same time everyone else did, but now this years version of the Spurs are possibly the best basketball team I have ever seen in my life. And they are crushing the Miami Heat. And doing it in the most joyful, entertaining way.

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Having said that, there is a conspiracy theory tied to these Spurs. As I said before, it’s not a very deep one, they don’t need a Deep Throat to uncover it. My theory is that the Spurs knew they were going to crush the Heat, just down right embarrass them, like they’ve done the last two games. And because they were so confident they would win the title they lost game two on purpose so they could win the close out game back on their home court in front their fans who would appreciate it much more than faux-fans of Miami. Well, it didn’t look like they actively tried to lose, but in contrast to their dominating performances in game 3 and 4, it is a wonder how they could have ever lost a game to this Heat team. What I think happened was that Popovich implicated a game plan that didn’t focus as much on ball movement or elements of the game they knew the Heat could react to. It was the playing-everyone version of letting Duncan and crew skip the game in Miami during the regular season. I think it is a very unlikely scenario that any team, especially the Spurs, would willingly lose a NBA Finals game, but after the last two games it makes me wonder how they lost game two. What likely happened was that Pop made the proper adjustments which allowed the Spurs to let their super-dominate colors shine. He is such an amazing basketball mind that he could for two consecutive games anticipate every thing that the Heat were going to do to try to stop their attack and not just design something that Erik Spolstra won’t be excepting, but something that will exploit every hole he didn’t even realize existed. Spolstra is a good coach, but he relies on having the horses. I get the sneaking suspicion that Popovich would still get a team like the Bobcats (RIP) to fifty-plus wins just because he is a master at understanding the game and utilizing his personnel. This is why I think that there is a good chance that Pop willingly allowed his team to lose game two. If that isn’t the case then maybe LeBron is really as good as people say he is because this Spurs team looks flawless. They look invincible and play together so well, I’m a little shocked that they even lost one game the whole year. 



The NBA Conspiracy Theory Minute 5-25-14

25 May

I do not believe in conspiracy theories. There are way too many factors, individuals, egos and money involved in all circumstances to say there is an overarching shadow agency running the show. Just the notion of such is a bigger leap of faith than any religion has ever asked of its followers. No, no, no, conspiracies are just a way for people to force connections which add meaning to the mundaneness of life. I don’t just actively ignore them, I go out of my way to shine a light on the stupidity required to believe any event has someone pulling the strings behind it. Conspiracy Theories are stupid and I don’t have time for a single one of them. Except when it comes to the NBA. NBA Conspiracy Theories are Faaaaaaantastic!

My reasoning is that, sure, large-scale conspiracies are nearly impossible to pull off, but inside one association? That could go down. There are too many things that don’t add up, breaks that seem too convenient, and luck never felt like Lady Luck and always had the hint of the smug condescending ways of David Stern. And the added bonus of conspiracy theories just being fun to ponder. Now, I love the NBA and I have no doubt that it will become the most popular sport in the world within the next 20 years, but to get to that level of popularity there’s got to be some bodies buried somewhere. And spring and the early summer are the P-R-I-M-E time for conspiracies, so this is going to be the first post exploring NBA Conspiracy Theories, both recent and up coming (there will undoubtedly be some shady officiating in the Eastern Conference Finals). So, get out your foil hats, pour yourself some florid-free water and feast your eyes on this NBA Draft conspiracy:


Cleveland won the NBA lottery for the third time in three years, well, let’s be fair, they won the number one pick three out of four years, but they also moved up a spot in they year they didn’t get the number one pick. So, they’ve had a lot of lottery luck since LeBron James left Cleveland. Which is the sole reason for their luck. When Cleveland lost the greatest player in the league, who will one day be considered the greatest in the history of the league it was more than just another a tragic day in Cleveland sports history, it could have been the day the killed Cleveland, not just the franchise, but the whole city. The NBA didn’t want the blood of an American city on their hands so they rigged and continue to rig the NBA Draft until Cleveland gets back to championship contention. The Decision was the worst possible outcome for the NBA and Cleveland. As much as they placed prodigy in the loving arms of his hometown team in 2003 by fixing that draft, the NBA did just as much to drive him out in 2010. If the NBA didn’t allow its players to play in the Olympics, Lebron, Bosh and Wade would have never realized that they could play together, coexist, have fun and win while maintaining their elite identities. Allowing NBA players to participate in the Olympics is great for the NBA brand as a whole, but actually hurts the individual teams in the league, if they’re not in a large market and don’t have the draw of weather, celebrities or no state tax. So once they joined forces in Miami the NBA knew it had to offer retribution for this tragic displacement of talent to overly tan, ungrateful hands of Miami “fans.”

It was a no brainer that the Cavs got the first pick in 2011. That was obvious retribution. They lost their star unfairly and were embarrassed along the way. Sure, we collectively agreed they deserved the first pick. Here’s the thing, they were never supposed to be this inept at running a basketball team. I believed that the NBA agreed to do whatever it could to get the team back to something that wasn’t a laughing stock, but with the combination of poor drafting and even more poorly running the team the NBA is stuck. They can’t admit they played no part in allowing James to jump ship in such a scandalous fashion, so they have to keep giving the Cavs number one lottery picks until it is no longer a place players flee after their rookie scale contract. Which probably means that Cleveland will keep getting lottery picks until the team is moved Austin and renamed The Strange.