Webbed Prose

23 Jan

The goal with Webbed Prose is to stretch the old creative muscles and tendons a little bit and share interesting/inspiring articles. Fingers crossed this becomes more than a one-off entry and develops a life on par with Carl Well’s on-going Pop Gods posts.

Here’s the article. Feel free to read it now or after main course of the prose.

Here’s the Prose:

Deepak’s Dilema or The Other Deepak:

An Free-Flowing Essay by Deepak Nayyar About Having the 2nd Coolest Name on the Planet

Gawddamnit, Deepak Chopra, can you go forty-five minutes without releasing a book!? It’s is like all you do is meditate and publish books. And go on talk shows. Can’t forget the talk shows. If half the people in the world who know his face from talk shows knew about even the simplest compound interest, any economic stress on the middle class would be completely alleviated. But, noooooo, everyone’s willing to put their spiritual well-being on high interest credit cards!

Now, settle down, Nayyar, I never thought it was going to be easy having this name in a Western society. Think of all the great things his fame has allowed; I only have to tell people my name twice now, instead of politely correcting them as they butcher it for sixth or seventh time in a row. And really, what does it matter? He’s a Deepak, I’m a Deepak. It’s not like the world doesn’t have room for two Deepaks, even the publishing world is big enough for two Deepaks. Listen, nobody got George Harrison confused with George Jones. And fuck the meditation stuff, I would totally be the George Harrison of that analogy. The Book of Secrets? More like The Book of She Stopped Loving Him Today, amiright? Plus, I have the same quality and pride in my work, and dare I say, I’m just as influential in world of academic economics as the former Beatle. It wasn’t even four years back at the INTCESS conference that Doug Diamond and I sang Silly Little Love Songs as to reference the economic implications of Nicolas Sarkozy’s pop star marriage. I know, it was a bit of stretch, but we both had a few and then Doug quoted the slight rise in GDP right after the line “What’s wrong with that? I’d like to know?” We all had a good laugh at that one.

But, really, another motherfucking cookbook!? Has so much happened to your culinary skills that need a completely new book to share it? I mean, you’re a vegetarian. I get it people want to lose weight, people want to be spiritually enlightened. The sweet spot of desperate, lonely, book readers just fell into your lap. You’d be stupid not write that book. Even if the book is just a hundred and twenty pages of you listing things that aren’t vegetables, it will still spend at least eight months on the New York Times Bestseller List. But just try to write one little book about the economic landscape that spans beyond the McDonald’s at end of the church parking lot and see if you even get a thousand printed.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn’t get into the economics game to sell books, and I certainly didn’t write the book to get on the New York Times Bestseller List. I mean, if I did, I would’ve taken advice from Malcolm Gladwell. No, I wrote this book to shed some light on my passion, my life’s work, the thing that makes the world turn; the economies of developing nations. I’m the enlightened one here, Chopra. Sure, you’ve got that “pure being” mumbo-jumbo, but let’s just see you measure Brazil’s or China’s Gross National Pure Being. Not in a bahjillion years.

So, you sell your blind-to-the-world, introspective brand of self-realization to a quarter of a million people who won’t even get past chapter four.  I’m quite content knowing that nearly all of my 38 grad students will read every last chapter of my book, and mostly likely not because it is required reading, but because they have the same passion for the tangible, measurable world of economic.

But, it sure would have been great to be referenced on Yeezus.

-C. Charles


2 Responses to “Webbed Prose”


  1. A Stupid Opinion About Tanking | Stupid Opinions Written Poorly - January 29, 2014

    […] written stupid opinions only spanned the realm of movies, but dabbled in television, music and made-up internal monologues of economists born in New Delhi. Well, it’s not. There is a rich tradition of having stupid opinions about basketball too. One of […]

  2. Webbed Prose – 2/11/14 | Stupid Opinions Written Poorly - February 11, 2014

    […] time I didn’t do a good job at explaining what I was trying to do with the Webbed Prose. It was a vague and rushed explanation because I was so eager to get rolling on the prose aspect of […]

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