The False Gods

12 May

After reading a stupid opinion about The New Gods, the concept of pop culture idolatry kept flashing into my brain. However I was experiencing revelations of how unworthy these figures were, how they don’t deserve the worshipping attention and praise bestowed upon them. False gods are everywhere and someone needs to commit blasphemy and speak against these golden calves. Their beholden status is an illusion and like Dorothy pulling back the curtain on the Wizard of Oz, I’m calling bullshit on these deities.


Ricky Gervais:

Why he is seen as divine: He gets credit for creating The Office and was funny hosting the Emmys in 2010.

Why he should fall from grace: Ricky Gervais isn’t funny! He is a legitimately mean man who has made a career out of being a total dick while also fooling people to think his shows are funny. Nobody watches his shows because most people don’t get HBO or BBC. As far as The Office goes, nobody in America saw his version and he had nothing to do with the success of Steve Carell’s Office he just receives checks in the mail. His movie The Invention of Lying was one of the most offensive movies I’ve ever seen. That has nothing to do with the point of the entire movie being that all religion is a lie. He made Jennifer Garner an icy bitch and managed to make Louie C.K. boring and dull, what a waste. Ricky is funny in small doses, An Idiot Abroad was hilarious because he was barely in the show at all. Admittedly he should host the Oscars because being an insulting, pompous, asshole to millionaires is comedy.


George R.R. Martin:

Why he is seen as divine: He’s written a sprawling complex epic fantasy that’s been read by millions. HBO’s adaptation is so popular it’s the most pirated show online.

Why he should fall from grace: The first A Song of Ice and Fire book came out in 1996 anyone who read that book or watched Game of Thrones Season 1 knows it has a lot of set up. What are the things the first installment promises that you want to see the most? Winter in Westeros, White Walkers in Westeros, and Dragons in Westeros. After 16 years, 5 books, and 4,228 pages, which of those things have happened…NONE! (Okay there has been 1 day of winter.) We’re all waiting for the next book but with the success of GoT George has been going to red carpet events and getting a cameo as an extra in the show. George you’re an old fat man who’s going to die soon. Sit your shit down and write the last 2 books already. But Noooo, he’s decided to write for the show and do a prequel series called The Tales of Dunk and Egg. His latest tangent is The Wit and Wisdom of Tyrion Lannister a literary clip show book of Tyrion’s musings. GRRM hasn’t even partnered with a ghost writer to explain how A Song of Ice and Fire ends. So when he dies of being a morbidly obese elderly man the unresolved story is buried with him. GRRM has been elevated to the highest pedestals of success for a living American author. Fans of Game of Thrones put him there. Instead of completing his magnum opus he continues to revel in distractions and ignore what his fans would most appreciate, the rest of the story.


Joss Whedon:

Why he’s seen as divine: Firefly has a cult following and The Avengers was the third highest grossing film of all time.

Why he should fall from grace: I know everyone gets a raging geek boner for Joss. Honestly I have never been impressed with anything Whedon has done. I mean Buffy? C’mon, a crap vampire show based on a crap vampire movie, how creative. I didn’t watch Firefly when it aired, after years of goading I borrowed the DVD’s. I liked the concept but thought it fell quite short on the sci-fi, and writing departments. When River is ripping up a bible the priest asks what she’s doing.

“Fixing the Bible”.

“You don’t fix the Bible, the Bible fixes you.”

That’s sappy garbage level writing and that’s what Whedon’s writing style is, he’s had a ton of failed or awful shows to prove it. I despise comic book movies but got dragged to The Avengers it was loud like a bad Hawaiian shirt but that’s what people want now for some reason so it was successful. But it had 5 hugely overhyped, highly anticipated movies preceding it. It’s like saying David Yates deserves all the credit for making Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince a success.

Now that the sacred geek idols have been defiled I’d better go.

Carl Wells


2 Responses to “The False Gods”


  1. A Stupid Comeback | Stupid Opinions Written Poorly - June 13, 2013

    […] Carl Wells’ response to Fritz Godard’s piece about new pop gods, was right on, for the most part, but I do take issue with his slamming of Ricky Gervais. Judging the man on cashing paychecks for something he created and because he made Jennifer Garner an “icy bitch” does not diminish his contributions to comedy, and doing so is really just playing the role of spoiled consumer demanding creative perfection while conveniently forgetting about past glory. In part because I had zero interest in how the American Office ended, and part because of Learning Guitar with David Brent was starting up, I returned to The Office in Slough, and so the damming of Ricky Gervais hurt all the more. The man is comic gold and the spiritual grandfather to virtually every half hour sitcom on television worth anything. The Original Office was so brilliant that people weren’t even sure if the comic awkwardness was intentional or not. Now entire careers have been constructed around aiming for the same situation. Any sitcom that isn’t bound to a sound stage, three cameras and a laugh track can thank Ricky Gervais. (It’s shocking to remember that even Seinfeld had a laugh track and a three camera setup) And the miserable end to the American Office could have been avoided if TV executives followed Gervais’ lead on keeping the run to a concise two series and a Christmas Special. The Office UK is still better than 80% of sitcoms on the air today, and if it wasn’t for this show it would be better than 100% of the sitcoms on today. It is slightly true that not everyone can readily watch his shows, but with a little patience and/or searching his shows demonstrate his comic talent and absolutely justify his fame. […]

  2. More False Idols of Pop Culture | Stupid Opinions Written Poorly - December 14, 2013

    […] discussion of which current icons of pop culture could represent the old gods. That post inspired a retort which pointed out some celebrities who don’t deserve the idolatry current pop culture bestows […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: