Movies I Want

10 Apr

With sequels, prequels, series, remakes and reboots, I’m over it, let’s see something I haven’t seen dozens of times already. Movies are becoming more like TV  with 3 – 8 episodes per series. I understand advantages to making five soul numbingly awful Twilight movies over making five unrelated movies. I get that it is easier and makes money. But it has gotten out of hand. In 2011 all of the Top Ten highest grossing movies were sequels or prequels, this pattern shows no signs of slowing. When there’s no sequel they just remake a movie from decades ago. I’ll pose a couple of alternatives that haven’t been put on film. There is still great content out there waiting for screen time. So in four years when you see these movies, remember you heard it from me first.

D.B. Cooper – I can’t believe there hasn’t been a movie about the only unsolved airplane piracy in America. If you’re not familiar with D.B. Cooper it is a fascinating real life story, check it out. Since it happened 40 years ago, younger people aren’t familiar with it so it will seem fresh. There’s growing interest in the last half of the 20th century i.e. Mad Men, The Americans, Argo. So make it as much about 1971 as it is about an airplane being high-jacked. How an airline ticket was $20, people could smoke everywhere, and how the F.B.I. investigated the case without G.P.S., D.N.A., or any of the tools on C.S.I.
     Here’s how it goes down. The movie starts in 2007 when the F.B.I. is going to attempt to get some D.N.A. samples from Cooper’s clip on tie. You have the old F.B.I. agent who’s been with the case for decades and the possibility of a D.N.A. match is his last hope. He’s going to have to pass the case off to a younger agent and since the D.N.A. will take a few days to be sequenced, him and his young counterpart are going over the case history. They spend a little time going over the folklore of the case and how nobody died, except maybe D.B. Cooper himself. The older one says something like “Back then getting on a plane was like getting on a bus.” flashback to November 24th 1971. The bulk of the movie is spent portraying the events that took place from the Portland Airport until D.B. Cooper jumps out of the back of the plane. Keep it as real and true to the actual events as possible.
     I see someone like brunette Michael Fassbender playing D.B. Cooper, he is calm, intense, collected, smokes and drinks a lot. After jumping out the back of the airplane with the $200,000 we never see him again. The old agent spends a little while narrating the investigation, highlighting the minute evidence that trickled in over the decades ending up in 2007. It is time to get the DNA profile, they were successful in obtaining a usable DNA sequence from the tie but it doesn’t match anything in the database. Another dead end, the mystery for now, remains unsolved.
My Teacher is an Alien – What a great title. This was a popular kids book published in 1989.  Three 6th grade kids; the nerd, the bully, and the good girl find out that the scariest thing at school isn’t a pop quiz. While pondering the disappearance of their normal teacher, Susan and her classmates keep noticing that their new substitute is very strange. One day Susan follows him and discovers the awful truth. She sees him peel away his face to reveal an orange eyed, green skinned alien head. The horror builds when the three friends discover their alien teacher plans to abduct children into space and stage an alien invasion of Earth. The children have to stop the extra terrestrial menace while not showing that they know his shocking secret identity.
     What a perfect idea for younger audiences. Since the Adolescent / Young Adult geared movies are big now this would be a much needed sci-fi addition to the genre. It would have to be properly scary and suspenseful which wouldn’t be hard since all kids know that teachers aren’t actually people. The difficulty would be in not making it corny like a 50’s sci-fi flick. But giving it a tone similar to the way scary kids movies were a couple decades ago. Once the first movie does well there are three more book sequels to supply movie studios with the series franchise they desire. As the books progress they deal with bigger, more mature issues. The tone of the movies would get darker and deeper little by little, like Harry Potter.
Maybe someone will take my advice and gamble on something new but I doubt it.

One Response to “Movies I Want”


  1. Wish I Could See These in 2014 | Stupid Opinions Written Poorly - January 16, 2014

    […] and one TV series that I wish I could look forward to in 2014. Since I’m still waiting for the movies I want from last year, this is just wishful thinking…for […]

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