Random Thoughts Brought Together by Laziness

6 Feb

Guys, I totally just realized why Jonathan Demme was the perfect director for A Silence of the Lambs. Over the weekend I watched a trio of Jonathan Demme films, Married to the Mob, Swing Shift and Something Wild. And I totally get it now, Demme’s women are fucking awesome. I’ve never seen Michelle Phifer, Goldie Hawn and Melanie Griffiths look better. He treats women characters with such respect that even while they’re getting dragged through the dregs of the plot they look beautiful. I had this theory, I’d like the call the Katharine Hepburn Theory, that goes a little something like, once you’ve seen an actress on-screen past a certain age, every time you see them again after that you can only see the beginnings of their “old face” even in their earliest pictures. It ruins all the sex appeal they held, and for a long time I thought that was true. I thought that all three of the stars of the aforementioned films had long past in the realm of the Katharine Hepburn Theory. I stumbled across a few scenes of Overboard, and I couldn’t even look at Goldie Hawn without thinking that Almost Famous came out more than a decade ago. But watching after each film, I had to think of all of the women in a new light. Each woman was so beautiful. Their costumes matched perfect, but if I tried to really explain what it was, I’d need a PhD in human psychology. I simply adored them. Not the same way that I adored Jodie Foster in A Silence of the Lambs, but that’s a different movie and Jodie Foster’s a different girl.

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I haven’t seen Zero Dark Thirty yet, and I actually haven’t read any of the controversial things the likes of John McCain and Martin Sheen have said about the film. However, through osmosis, I guess, I know that there are some torture scenes in the film, and nobody likes torture. From what I understand is that these people think that for some reason if the public watches a film with torture in it, they will automatically think that torture is A-OK. Possibly because the high minds of John McCain and Martin Sheen have evolved so much that they can tell the difference between fiction and reality, and they are just doing their parts has highly evolved creatures to protect all of us reality-neophytes from confusing fact with fiction. They’re fighting the wrong fight. What they should really be worried about is a film like Wreck-It Ralph, a film that also uses torture to extract information, but instead of being based on real-life events it’s based on video games, and not just that it’s also marketed for children. And even though children still know the difference between reality and a cartoon they are the exact reality-neophytes we should protect from the idea of torture.  But Wreck-It Ralph used torture as a lazy and quick way to get information where as I’m sure Zero Dark Thirty was totally justified in the story and surely gave it the weight it deserved. So, the lesson is that when something is done in a quality manner it’s ok to criticize it.

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As Dwight Howard showed once again over the weekend that he has no idea what the phrase “my word is my bond.”  The man is a horrible person in a very real sense, unlike the way that beat writers and the media tried to make Allen Iverson seem like a horrible person. I am so glad the Bill Simmons implied that he uses performance enhancing drugs, it seems like the karmic cherry on top of the karma-fill sunday this season has been for him. Dwight has done nothing to make me think it’s past him to use PEDs without even looking at the physical evidence. If we just went through the list of things he’s laid claim to and the actions that have followed them, even if Dwight had a tearful press conference claiming he’s never used PEDs I wouldn’t believe him for a second. His word is a joke, and Lakers fans should be scared shitless that he’ll flee, and every other team in the NBA should be scared shitless that he’ll sign with them. He’s just a terrible person and I’m going to make a stand and not follow anything about Dwight Howard until his remorseful autobiography comes out after he’s burned all his bridges in the NBA.

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-C. Charles

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One Response to “Random Thoughts Brought Together by Laziness”

  1. Carl Wells February 9, 2013 at 4:43 pm #

    Nice job combining Random with Lazy

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