Hopes for American Horror Story

4 Feb

Things I hope to see on the next season of American Horror Story

A couple weeks ago the second season of American Horror Story wrapped up with a bang(literally!)  This season we got a lot of really wonderful horrific happenings: a former Nazi doctor conducted experiments on the patients of a rotting sanitarium; an exorcism lead to the possession of a formerly pure, young nun; a serial killer with SERIOUS mommy issues skinned people and then put their faces on like a mask; a young interracial couple was abducted by aliens; Jessica Lange continued to be the most riveting, beautiful sexagenarian out; and Adam Levine lost an arm while getting a blow job from Channing Tatum’s wife(I know that sounds like a joke, but that actually happened.)

It was a great season, and coupled with the first season’s murder house, American Horror Story has paraded pretty much every horror trope across our television screens. So, while I have no idea where the third season could possibly take the series, here are some things I hope to see in the next season:

1.  Psycopathic children:  Scary children are one of my favorite horror tenets.  Kids doing horrible things  is something that I love to see in horror movies.  There are so many examples of of scary kids from film, from Children of the Corn to The Ring to The Omen. But for some reason, I’m thinking specifically of a movie that frightened me in my childhood:  The Good Son.  I don’t remember the specifics, but the movie pits the titular Elijah Wood against a terrifying Macauley Culkin.  The reason it was scary is because Macauley is just straight evil for no real reason.  There’s no demonic possession or terrible past that makes him a bad egg, he’s just a mean kid, and that’s the scariest of all.

2. Zombies:  It’s kind of amazing that American Horror Story hasn’t already explored this topic.  It might be because zombie movies exist as their own genre outside of horror, and zombie fans are notoriously ravenous.  But I would just love to see how zombies could fit into the colorful, campy world of American Horror Story.    Maybe a zombie song and dance number?  Please, Ryan Murphy?

3. Eastern Europeans:  They just creep me out.

4. Technology:  Murderous dvds and websites are a relatively newer trend in horror, as they’ve only really been a big part of our lives for the past 10-15 years.  I’m torn about wanting to see more technology on AHS.  On the one hand, I’m not so sure technological advancements are suited to the classic camp that AHS usually tries to explore, but on the other hand, murderous websites are especially scary to me due to the amount of time I spend on social media everyday.  Killing someone in 140 characters or less?  That’s efficient AND scary.

5. More Jessica Lange:  LAWD, she is seriously the most beautiful woman.  I have enjoyed every scene she’s been in over these last seasons.  Highlights: her monologue to her hairdresser about her anti-christ grandbaby in season one, and the name game jukebox number from season 2.  The woman is a national treasure.

Whatever season 3 brings, if it’s anything like the first two seasons, I will be supernaturally obsessed and also, afraid to walk in stairwells by myself.

-Caitie Hannan


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